Greatest Blessing

The past several months have been a whirlwind. I have felt absolute heartbreak and absolute joy. On Easter this past year I found out I was pregnant. I wish I could say that I jumped for joy. I did’t. I had the opposite reaction. I was actually deeply saddened by the news. I couldn’t bare going through another loss. I became angry. I didn’t understand why God would let me get pregnant just to have to say goodbye again.

October 2018 I went through my second pregnancy loss. It had been 3 years since we had gotten pregnant so I was ecstatic. I took the test and impatiently waited. When I saw the plus sign, I balled like a baby with joy. I wrapped the test up along with two onesies and gave them to my husband as a belated birthday present. At first he didn’t understand but when he got it, he was so happy. We told our parents and his brother over a special dinner.

We never thought that a few weeks later we would be in a hospital ER room getting the news that the baby didn’t make it. Hearing the words “I’m sorry but unfortunately the fetus isn’t viable” is gut wrenching. I couldn’t even cry. I was so upset, but deep down I knew that this was going to be the end result. I waited until I got home to cry. The next day I lost the baby.

I soon went into a deep depression. My husband and I were so devastated. I couldn’t help but feel I was to blame. We had waited 5 years for this and now it was gone in an instant. I felt like God abandoned me. I couldn’t feel his love and I felt alone. I also felt like a failure. I made stupid financial decisions. Sometimes grieving people do things that don’t make sense. They make hasty decisions. I invested in something without consulting my husband. Decisions like that should be made together, but I made it on my own and now we both have to pay for my bad choice. That’s another lesson for another day!

I took a class in January called Freedom. It set me free. It allowed me to see just how deep God’s love is. It also helped me to see that I didn’t need a baby to complete me. God completes us. During the class I found out I was pregnant. At the end of the class, we had a conference. I had several pray over me. I told them that I was worried of loosing the baby. At the time I thought I was going through the beginning of a pregnancy loss. It was brutal. The conference brought so much healing for me. God definitely did a working in me.

Now, I am trusting in the Lord to keep this sweet babe safe. I’ve been praying over it every day. There are some really good plans for expecting Moms on the Bible App. Yesterday on the way home, I prayed for the baby’s spouse that God would create someone that had the same faith and the same calling. I’ve prayed that even now my child would know who the Lord is and that it would make a decision for Christ at an early age. I pray that it will always choose to do right even when everyone else is doing wrong. I pray that it will stand strong on the word of God and speak the truth.

I am 4 months along. Every day, I wake up and look at my bump and feel overwhelmingly blessed. I just can’t believe that we have a baby. It’s real and not a dream. I am so happy that words cannot even tell you how I feel. Every moment brings bliss. I don’t even mind that I get heartburn a lot or that I get sick every time I smell certain things. It means that I have life growing inside me. God chose my husband and I to be this baby’s parents. We are truly blessed. I feel so humbled by everything.

Last week we got to see it move during an ultra sound. It was the best day of my life. My husband Kyle said yes it is the best day until we hold it in our arms. He’s right! If you are in the Dayton, OH area you should check out Baby & Co. 4D in Troy. They are amazing! The tech was so sweet and stayed with us until we found out what we were having. It’s a surprise until Saturday. So don’t ask!!

Throughout our story I have been reminded of Hannah. Hannah wanted a child so badly. She earnestly prayed and God granted her a son. She dedicated her baby to the Lord.

I Samuel 1:19-30 Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord, and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying,“Because I have asked for him from the Lord.”

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us. It’s amazing to have people go to the Lord on your behalf.

Stay tuned for the Gender Reveal! Check out the Facebook page on Saturday for the big reveal!! https://www.facebook.com/LiesFromTheMirror

Love from above,

Iva Mae

Everything I Need

I love music. I am ministered to the most through music. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good sermon and I need them. Music just speaks to me. I’m that person you see driving down the road praising God all by myself in my car. I love to worship. I love the atmosphere and how it changes when I worship with my whole heart. I decided this week to have purposeful worship. Today in my car I was listening to Lauren Daigle’s Everything. I really listened to the words and it just did my soul good.

Even the sparrow has a place to lay its head so why would I let worries steal my breath? Even the roses, you have glowed them in brilliant red. Still I’m the one You love more than this.

You give me everything I need.

Even the oceans push and pull at Your command. So you can still my heart with Your hand. You tell the seasons when it’s time for them to turn. So I will trust You even when it hurts.

You give me everything I need.

When I can’t see, You lead me. When I can’t hear, You show me. When I can’t stand, You carry me. When I’m lost, You will find me. When I’m weak, You are mighty. You are everything I need.

Those words are so powerful. As I sang them, I believed them. Why should I worry when even the sparrows have a place to lay their head? I just felt the Lord speaking to me. I’ve got this. I’ve already taken care of all the things you are worrying about. Let it go and be free.

Is there anything that you are holding onto today that you need to just give to the Lord? I invite you to have a purposeful time of worship and prayer and just give your burdens to the Lord.

If you want to listen to my Worship playlist, you can find it here. Worship.

Love from above,

Iva Mae

We are at WAR

image from thegospelcoalition.org

1, 2, 3, 4. I declare a thumb war! If only the wars that rage in us were as simple as the childhood game of thumb war.

I’ve been taking a class at a local church these past eleven weeks. Next week is the last class. It is hard to believe that it is almost over. This class has taught me so many things and given me clarity in my spiritual vision. It was helpful to start in Genesis and move forward. I’ve enjoyed this class so much and cannot wait until the conference in two weeks.

We were warned that in taking this class, especially part two, would bring spiritual attacks and warfare upon us. We discussed how many Christians do not even know that there is spiritual warfare or how to combat. A soldier cannot help win a war if he/she did not know they were in a war or how to use a weapon to fight!

How do we know that there is spiritual warfare?
2 Corinthians 10: 3-4 says, For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

We do not war against flesh. What do we war against? Ephesians 6:12 says, For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

If we are unaware of the spiritual warfare in our own lives, and we don’t know the Word of God, how can we win? We cannot. I hate to admit it, but I honestly didn’t recognize some of the traps that the enemy set up for me. I like to think of it as walking through a forest and falling into a hole that has been covered by leaves or sticks. Before you know what is going on you’re caught in a trap.

How do we know where to look for traps? We know that Satan roams like a lion seeking whom he will devour. 1 Peter 5:8 This verse tells us that the enemy wants to destroy us.

The traps or snares from Satan are not always obvious. For me the trap begins with a thought. It usually catches me off guard. It is usually a lie that seems like a fact. For instance, a thought that creeps into my brain all the time is so form of “I am not good enough”. It could be something like, “You can’t do that because no one likes you enough” or “You are too fat” or You aren’t pretty enough”. You hear yourself say them enough and you start to believe them as truths.

You stop doing the things that God has called you to do because you don’t feel you are qualified or good enough to do them. The next thing you know you are depressed. You then own that depression and you get stuck in it. Then you do things and say things you would not normally do. We forget who we are. As born again Christians, we are children of the one true King. We are of a Royal Priesthood! We have been bought with a price. Jesus blood makes us worthy.

I recently heard about the 12 Audacious Faith Confessions by Pastor Steven Furtick at my Mary Kay Career Conference. The speaker, Julia Burnett talked about writing them all down and posting them over her house. When the enemy came at her with a lie she spoke one of those. She said it was like playing whack a mole. Satan would throw something at her and she’d hit it, then something else and she’d that. Whatever popped up she hit with the Word of God.

I left there feeling so refreshed and renewed in the Lord. She was so anointed and her words wrecked me. It was all I could do to cry. She said that when we think of ourselves so lowly we are a form of a narcissist. We aren’t thinking of ourselves more highly all the time, but we are thinking of ourselves all the time more lowly. We aren’t seeing ourselves the way God sees us. Pslams 139:14 says I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

We fight against the enemy in a spiritual battle with the Word. With God’s truths. The next time a thought creeps up in your mind, ask yourself is this really true? You don’t have to believe everything you think. If you wouldn’t talk to someone else the way you’re talking to yourself, STOP! Speak God’s truths. Write it on post it notes and put them all over your house. Write I am enough – I am fearfully and wonderfully made on your bathroom mirror. Say it to yourself out loud every day.

I heard someone say that they wanted to do a body building championship. She worked very hard on her body. Every day she would tell herself I am the 50+ Women’s Body Building Champion. She wrote it in her journal. She spoke it out loud, EVERY DAY. She said she won the competition. Her daughter asked her why she wasn’t more excited about. She said because I had already became the champion months ago. That is powerful!! Our words are powerful. Be careful what you say to yourself because you are listening!

Dear God I ask right now that you would give us a boldness to speak powerful and true words over our lives. I ask that you would please help us to see the attacks of the enemy and give us your Word to fight with. I ask that you would allow those who are held in bondage by the enemies lies to see that they can be made free with your truths. Help us to see where we need repentance and see your mercy, grace and love in our lives. Thank you for your love and sending your son to die so that we may be free. In Jesus name, Amen.

Have a wonderful Easter everyone!

Love from above,

Iva Mae

Worshipping Through Grief

photo from boundless.org

Hello,

It has been way too long since I have posted. I am going to do better. Life always seems to get in the way. I am going to share something that is painful. I didn’t want to share it, but I have felt so compelled to share it. I wrote a draft post and refused to look at it again or finish it until now.

A lot has happened since I last posted in February. In August I had surgery to remove endometriosis. I have had pain and problems for years. One of those was infertility. We have been trying to have a baby since 2014. I had a miscarriage in 2015. We were unable to get pregnant after that. We were hopeful that this surgery would allow us to have a baby. It seems the surgery was successful, I’ve not had pain. In October, I found out I was pregnant.

We were so excited! Finally! My husband and I talked about names, we talked about how we were going to move things around to make a nursery, and we talked about how we hoped we would be good parents.

I never thought that another miscarriage was possible. I truly felt this time that we would get to hold our sweet baby! It was due in June of 2019. We even told our family over a special dinner.

I had to have blood tests right away since I have had a miscarriage before. I started to worry. The tests came back with levels too low. Then I had complications and that ended with me having a miscarriage. Even as I type this, the word makes me cringe. My greatest fear came true.

When I first found out that this pregnancy was not going well, I was devastated. Then I was angry and hurt. I remember driving home from work so mad at God, I cried red hot tears. I didn’t understand how He could let this happen. The one thing we have prayed for, for years, finally happened and now it was being ripped away.

After crying out in anger, I felt guilty for getting angry. Then I felt sad. This pregnancy was different than the first one. We had an early ultrasound. I got to see it. My husband and I felt so happy after the ultrasound. Less than a week later the baby was gone.

I was so sure that this time it would be okay. Finding out that the baby was gone, felt like being crushed by boulders. When my Mom dropped us off back home from the hospital, I completely broke. I was and still am heartbroken. I still don’t understand or know why. I just have to trust that this was for the best.

My Dad came and picked me up the next morning and took me to get some coffee and so I could get my car from my parents’ house. He mentioned David and what he did after the death of his child. Once I got home, I read 2 Samuel 12. David’s child with Bathsheba fell ill and died. When he heard that the child died, he got up, washed and anointed himself and went to the house of the Lord and worshiped. His servants were confused with David’s actions. They didn’t understand why when the child was sick David didn’t eat and mourned but when it died, he got up from his grieving bed. I love how David answered them.

2 Samuel 12:22-23 “And he said, while the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

David did not stay in his grief. He knew that he would see his child again one day. He worshiped God. I have discovered that worship brings comfort. I took time to grieve. The day after I lost the baby, I went to church and was anointed. I wanted to be like David. I asked God at the beginning of this that He would get the glory.

Worship has been the key for me. Knowing God is good even when He doesn’t answer prayers the way we want has been a comfort as well. God is good, even though the things He allows bring me pain. Though he slay me, yet I will trust him. Job 13:15 I don’t understand why, but I chose to trust the Lord. I hope that I can help someone else.

I lost the baby October 27. It has been over a month now. I have my good days and bad days. Thanksgiving was hard and this month has been a little hard as well. We would have gotten to hear a heartbeat this month. Instead of hearing our sweet baby’s heartbeat, I have a broken heart. It is hard to not blame myself. There is a guilt that comes with a miscarriage. You think that there is something wrong with you. You think that if you would done this or not done that it wouldn’t have happened. Sweet friend, these are lies from the enemy to oppress you and destroy you. He wants nothing more than to use your grief as chains to keep you down. Satan wants to make you feel like this is your fault. This is not your fault. That is a lie straight from the pits of hell. These things happen because they just do. It isn’t comforting, but it is the truth. These things happen and we don’t understand why we may not until we get to Heaven.

Friend, if you are going through this or have gone through this, know this is NOT your fault. You are loved. You are not alone. When Satan tries to destroy you with lies about who you are, remember whose blood covers you and all sins. There is nothing that you can go through that will make God love you less. He loved you enough to give his only begotten son that we can have eternal life. Jesus overcame the world and He will help you overcome grief. Not every day will be perfect. You will have moments, sometimes out of nowhere that will bring you to your knees. Keep strong, keep holding on and keep trusting God.

Worship the Lord. Do not think that because you are broken you cannot worship. That is a lie from the enemy. Worship brings healing! I listed some of the songs that I have been worshiping to well sometimes ugly crying and worshiping.

Worship Playlist:

Trust in you- Lauren Daigle

Thy Will – Hillary Scott & Thr Scott Family

What a Beautiful Name – (Hillsong) Kari Jobe

You Say – Lauren Daigle

I Am Not Alone – Kari Jobe

Who You Say I am – Hillsong Worship

The Hurt & The Healer – Mercy Me

So Will I – (Hillsong Worship) Tori Kelly

Reckless Love – performed by Steffany Gretzinger

Encourage Yourself

The past two days I have felt so defeated and so discouraged. I’m trying to work on something and it just seems like I cannot get it done. I have never had so many obstacles and hurdles when trying to do something that seems so simple.

Yesterday everything I did just fell apart. I tried to schedule a simple doctor’s appointment and it turned into an hour of getting the run-around. I hung up the phone and screamed and burst into tears. I was so frustrated. I am trying to eat healthy because I’m a little overweight and I need to be healthy! I wanted to try a new healthy recipe I found. Sounds like a great idea right?!

I made a Zucchini pizza last night that I saw on Facebook. It seemed simple enough. I turned it into a 20-minute process of doom. Not simple. I used too much zucchini…so I had to add more eggs. I use non-dairy cheese because I’m allergic to cow dairy. I poured the crust on a greased pizza stone. Put it in the oven so excited to try this carb free pizza!! I checked it after 10 mins…. the liquid from the eggs came out from the zucchini cheese mixture and poured itself on the bottom of my oven and caught on fire.  The liquid mixture still on the stone burnt itself to the stone. The rest of the crust didn’t seem to be cooking.

I made my husband fried chicken. I went to take the lid of the deep fryer off and the handle came off in my hand and the lid went flying. I jumped back 10 feet because I thought for sure hot lava oil was going to splash up at me. After I took the chicken out I topped it with a cheese and bread-crumb mixture and put it in the oven. The cheese mixture slid right off of the chicken. AND it burnt…

Dinner was just another failed effort on my part. I went to the gym after dinner. I’m trying to work up to run/walk a 5k in July. I can run a mile, just not all at once. I ran a half mile without stopping! I was so proud of myself. On the 8th lap, I felt a sharp pain in my ankle that went up my leg to my knee. I was done for the night.

In 2004 I had a part of my fibula removed along with a tumor. My ankle and my fibula no longer connect. This makes the fibula bone push out when I run for long periods and causes me a lot of pain. I get really frustrated with it.

I was so frustrated last night. I was beaten down, disheartened and so discouraged. I just wanted to go to bed and not wake up for a week.

I thought things would be better today. I was wrong. Everything today went wrong or way off course.

I decided that I needed to encourage myself. Sometimes people come along and encourage us but sometimes you have to encourage yourself.

I decided to turn to the good book (the bible) for some encouraging verses. The verses below really helped me.

Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will no set you ablaze.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

John 16:33 ” I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”    Mic Drop. BOOM.

If you’re feeling discouraged today, take a moment to take a breath. Remember who you are in Christ and remember that no matter what comes, don’t worry. Christ has overcome the world!

Lauren Daigle’s song My Revival is a good song to listen to. So is Overcomer by Mandisa.

I hope that when no one is there to encourage you, you can find some encouragement yourself in the good book!

Love in Christ,

Iva Mae

Quite Contrary… How does your garden grow?

Picture from Garden of Gethsemane June 5, 2017 from my Israel Mission trip

“Mary, Mary, quite contrary” by Mother Goose

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockleshells, And pretty maids all in a row.

“Mary, Mary quite contrary” is an English poem most of us remember from childhood. I never really understood. Contrary means opposite. This Mary grows silver bells, whatever cockleshells are and pretty maids. (uh what?) This Mary girl, she has some odd gardening habits. I’ll get back to this in a minute (be patient).

I’ve been thinking a lot about Spring with the nasty weather we are having in Ohio. Spring means nicer weather, but it also means that plants will begin growing again. I love looking at flowers, trees, bushes and vegetable gardens. The bright and beautiful colors bring me happiness and joy. Eating the veggies and fruits also make me happy! My favorite food is fruit (next to chocolate).

An apple tree produces apples. An apple tree does not produce watermelon. We know what kind of tree or plant it is by looking at what’s growing on it.

Matthew 7:20 says “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

Jesus isn’t talking about plants when he says this. He is talking about us. What kind of fruit are you growing? Are you growing love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance? Or is your garden “quite contrary” like Mary’s?

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us the fruit of the spirit – what we need to grow on our spiritual trees.

After speaking with someone, or even seeing how someone interacts with others you can tell what kind of tree they are. Before we leave others with a bitter taste in their mouth, let’s make sure we are growing love. I like that love is the first fruit mentioned. If you don’t have love, you will not be able to grow other fruits. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 tells us that exactly.

1 Corinthians 13:1 -3 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Without the act of love, charity, we are nothing.

We should show love through our speech and actions. We really need to make sure what we say, is said in love. You can never take back your words.

Check out what the bible says about the tongue.

Proverbs 18:21, 1 Peter 3:10, James 3:8 & Proverbs 15:4

Toby Mac posted a picture the other day and it said” The mouth should have three gatekeepers. Is it true? Is it kind? And it is necessary?”

I’ve been trying to focus on love recently. Everyday try to focus on love and the other fruit of the spirit will come.

If you’re like me, it may be time to prune and weed.

Remember 1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all your things be done with charity (love).”

God Bless!

Love from above,

Iva Mae

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Journey to Israel – How did I get there?

I don’t even know where to start to talk about Israel. Finding the right words to describe my experience is difficult. I will do my best to tell you how I got to Israel.

I am forever changed by my experience there and for what happened in my life leading up to the trip.

I have been dealing with going on mission trips for some time now. Our church has missionaries who have been called to Haiti and go on mission trips there often. I wanted to go to Haiti but I knew my husband would never be okay with that. He told me that he never wanted me to go there because it can be unsafe. I had a burning for going on a trip but I tried ignoring it. I remember being in church in October of 2016 and God spoke to me and I could ignore it no longer. I said God give me confirmation that you want me to be a missionary. I don’t need a sign I want confirmation. (Judges  6:37 “Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said.”)

Doing your calling and going on mission trips were mentioned many times in the serivce. I said okay God. I’ll go to the next place someone talks about going to. My Pastor had Brother Mark Bradley talk about Israel and if you wanted to be a part of the team to see him. I said okay God I’ll go to Israel. I went to the alter and told God I’ll go wherever you call me and on the way back told Mark I needed to talk to him about Israel.

The next day I emailed the gentlemen in charge of the trip and said I wanted to go. I was told that the trip would cost around $3500. I told my boss at a job I’d been at for 1 month. I knew there may be some unpaid days but I said I have to go. My boss is a Christian man and he understood and supported it.

I never worried about the money. I knew if God wanted me to go, he would provide the funds. People found out and started giving me checks and sending money to my mission fund. I sent a letter out about a month out from going…it just never seemed to work put for me to send the letters any earlier. I needed about $1500 more when I sent the letters out. Within a week of sending the letters out, I was fully funded and then some.

I knew that this was real and I was going.

Satan knew I was going too. He used close family members to try and get me to not go. My husband was very against me going because he was worried about me. He felt that it was dangerous to go to Israel. He was afraid. I felt like I had no support at home. Several times I almost emailed the team leader and said I wasn’t going to go. I knew that God wanted me to go and that I needed to go because that is what I was called to do. (I listened to Lauren Daigle’s Trust in You a lot! I also relied on Proverbs 3:5)

I looked up songs about being called as a missionary. I found Kari Jobe’s The Cause of Christ and it was a song I listened to every day. I was worried that I might die on my trip. You hear so many lies about Israel in the media and was listening to what my husband was saying. I was willing to die for the cause of Christ if need be. I was going no matter what. I also listened to Oceans by Hillsong. Those 2 songs were MY songs for my trip.

Monday May 29, 2017

The Monday before I left on Wednesday, my Daddy got a call that my Papaw was asleep and wasn’t waking up. We were all eating and celebrating Memorial Day and celebrating before I left on my trip when he got the call. I talked to him privately and he said that Papaw wasn’t doing well and that he was dying. I cried and said I didn’t want him to die when I was gone. Daddy told me that Papaw would want me to go. I had to go no matter what. I said okay.

Tuesday May 30, 2017

I went to the nursing home on Tuesday at lunch and held my Papaw’s beautiful hands and told him I loved him. I thanked him for the Christian raising he gave my Father. I thanked him for praying for me. I told him that I was going on a mission trip and I was leaving the next day. I told him goodbye for now, but one day I’ll see you in Heaven! I kissed him and left.

Tuesday evening I began to get nervous as I packed my suitcase for my trip. Satan started in on me. I began to be afraid that the group wouldn’t like me and that I would be feel left out because they were a family and I was an “outsider”. I was worried I’d be miserable for 2 weeks. I was worried about being alone. I realized what was going on and I said not today Satan! I quickly told him to leave with those lies in the name of Jesus.

Wednesday May 31, 2017

I got up Wednesday morning and got ready to go. I went to breakfast with my husband at our favorite place, Waffle House! My nerves were on full alert! I was shaking from being nervous and being excited. My Uncle Norm sent me a text and told me to be a world changer! It gave me such strength.

My husband and I went to my parents. He and my parents were taking me to the airport. We were all in the kitchen with my Aunt Donna and Uncle Keith from Kentucky and my cousin Jeni and her little girl Rylee. My Dad got a text. My Papaw passed away about 10-15 mins before I had to leave to go to the airport.

I didn’t cry. I was shocked that he went so quickly and knew I had to be strong and go.

My parents and my husband went into the airport with me. They went with me as far as they could and watched me go through security and then waved goodbye. As soon as they couldn’t see me I cried. I was so emotional. I was sad, scared and overjoyed all at once. I composed myself and took my bookbag and carry on and walked to the terminal.

I found my terminal and took a seat. I watched a family say goodbye to a youngman going into the service. His parents, sister and grandparents were all there saying goodbye to him. I watched as they said goodbye and hugged and cried. After he go on the plane the entire family went to the window and watched the plane leave. They went to the other window and watched it take off. It reminded me how important family is and I knew that no matter how alone and scared I felt at that moment that I couldn’t let fear dictate my life. My favorite childhood verse, the first verse I ever memorized, came flooding back to me. Pslams 56:3 “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.”

I prayed and thanked God for the calling, the opportunity and for giving me strength. I thanked him for my Papaw and my family who was praying for me.

I was flying to Chicago by myself. They called for my flight to board and I boarded the plane. I found my seat and found myself smiling from ear to ear. I was actually doing this. I was finally not allowing fear to keep me from doing what God wanted me to do. I plugged in my earbuds as the plane took off and the song Brave by Bethel came on and I suddenly felt very brave. I knew that all the heartache and trials it took to get me to that point was worth it. Satan knew that this trip would change me and take me closer to God. He did everything in his power to try to stop me. I refused to let him.

I got to Chicago and panicked because I had no idea where the connecting flight’s terminal was. I had to compose myself in the bathroom and then I called the team leader Bill. I was actually pretty much right next to the terminal… Go figure!

I met everyone and they were so nice and welcoming! I knew it was going to be an amazing trip and that God had brought us all together for a reason. I still think of the team often and pray for them. I have such an admiration and love for the team.

We boarded the plane and took off to Toronto, Canada. We landed and didn’t have long before we boarded the flight for Tel Aviv, Israel. I grabbed a bite to eat and then it was time to go! I watched so many movies on the way to Israel and was able to get a few hours of sleep in before we landed. The plane food was really good to btw. AirCanada’s food is yummy!

Thursday June 1, 2017

We landed in Israel at around 10am. They are 7 hours ahead of Ohio. I was so excited! We went through security and had to get our passports checked since we were foreigners. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally made it through. We met Moshe and found our rental vehicle and took off to his home.

If I could tell you anything about this trip, it would be this – Obedience is better than sacrifice. Do what God has called you to do no matter who goes against you. Do what God calls you to do no matter how scared you are. Do what God calls you to do because when you actually do it… you will never find a greater joy, happiness or feel closer to God.

I will post more about the actual mission trip in Israel tomorrow. I wanted to give you the back story so you can understand where I was spiritually and mentally.

I had the most amazing experience. I want to go back. I fell in love with Israel and the people there. I loved the missionary family we stayed with and their congregation. I met some people who have left an imprint on my heart. I know this is just the beginning for me.

Love in Christ,

Iva Mae

 

Papaw’s Prayers

I came across this photo tonight. It’s of me and my Grandpa Nickels in 1991. It made me think about a passage I read recently in The Circle Maker. My Aunt Mary told me to read it and so far it has not disappointed! Thanks Aunt Mary! ❤️ 

I’ve been thinking recently about a question that was asked of me when I was in Israel. What are you doing here? Why did you come here? 

I couldn’t help but think about all the things in life that I had been through to get me there at that moment. 

I hopped on a plane to Israel the day my Papaw Nickels went to be with Jesus. 
It was hard to do, but Papaw’s race was over. He crossed the finish line and entered Heaven! 

I thought about all the times he prayed for me. The deep heart felt prayers he prayed for his kids and grandkids. Both he and Mamaw would go boldly before God on my behalf and on many other’s as well.

The passage I came across was on pg 19 -20. 

“I’ve always believed in the power of prsyer. In fact, prayer is the spiritual inheritance I received from my grandparents. I had a grandfather who would kneel by his bedside at night, take off his hearing aid, and pray for his family. He couldn’t hesr himself without his hearing aid on, but everyone else in the house could. Few things leave as lasting an impression as hearing someone genuinely intercede for you. And even though he died when I was six, his prayers did not. Our prayers never die. There have been moments in my life when the Spirit of God has whispered to my spirit, Mark, the prayers of your grandfather are being answered in your life right now. …I realized that my grandfather had been praying circles around me before I was even born.” Mark Batterson 
My Papaw didn’t get to see me go on a mission trip or see how it changed my life. I have no doubt that he played a big part in getting me there through his prayers! My Mamaw and Papaw Nickels prayers are the reason I’m here right now. 

Israel brought out a deeper, bolder more passionate praying Iva than who I was before. I feel like that I have awoken from a deep slumber. I’m excited to see where God takes me. 

Sometimes I feel like my prayers don’t get through. God hears our prayers and answers them in His perfect time and in His perfect way! Sometimes he says no because there’s something better. 

Don’t get discouraged in your prayers! God is working on something now. He may not give you your answer today or tomorrow- but God will answer your prayers!

Love from above,

Iva Mae

Speak Life

I’ve been trying to search and study in the bible about speaking, lips and the tongue. God has been dealing with me on what I speak. Am I speaking value, hope love and life or am I speaking fear, death, slander and rubbish?

I’ve heard people say you need to speak things over you life and over your husband and children’s lives. I used to think that it was weird and dumb. What is speaking something over my life going to do? I honestly laughed when I heard people say that. I thought okay this must be something “those new churches” are teaching. I didn’t see the importance of it.

I literally had an epiphany the other night. It was like the curtain had been drawn back and I could finally see clearly. I was reading the verses again and I heard the old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. I thought, yah but words can hurt me… Then BOOM. It hit me. I. finally. got. it.

I had been reading these verses about idle words and how the tongue is a weapon. I never thought about how the tongue could speak life. How it could speak hope? How it could speak love? I am going to share the verses that were most compelling to me on the power of our words.

Proverbs 10 talks about the wisdom of the righteous and what they speak.

Verse 11 is what started this spark. “The mouth of the righteous man is a well of life…”

Verse 13, “In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.”

Verse 20-21 “The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.”

Verse 32 “The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness (rebellion, contrariness, defiance or willfulness).

Proverbs 16:23-24 “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

Proverbs 18:4 “The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.”

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat thereof.”

Isiah 50:4 “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.”

Instead of speaking ill towards each other, let’s speak good will and hope towards one another. Let’s lift each other up. Let’s speak hope and goodness over our lives.

What verses do you think of when you think of this subject?

Listen to Toby Mac’s song! It’s great and catchy! Speak Life

Still I Will Sing

Sometimes we go through trials and the pain of those trials remain. I feel like the trial I am going through is never ending. It’s hard to explain the roller coaster emotions that I’ve gone through. Some days I am okay with not having a baby. Other days… I am not okay with it at all. I feel this emptiness and longing for something that seems like it will never come. Will I ever make my husband a father? Will I ever become a mother?

I don’t understand how most of my friends and family member have babies and I do not. Keeping the hurt of that inside is exhausting. Some days I wear my pain on my face and everyone can tell something is wrong with me. I’ve realized that talking about my pain helps.

What doesn’t work is giving up, keeping it in and doubting God. Last week at church was our youth service. Our Youth Pastor preached about Thomas – the doubter. He gave a whole new outlook on Thomas. Thomas wanted to know for himself what was the truth. He didn’t want to go off the word of others. I realized that I was actually doubting God’s ability to do something, not seeking out His will.

I have a love/hate relationship with God’s correction. I hate that feeling of conviction, but love that God speaks to me and convicts me of things.

I realized that I cannot give up on God. Just because something hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t. Whether we have a baby naturally or by adoption I believe that one day we will have a baby!

In the meantime I will sing! I heard Kari Jobe’s song I will Sing from her new album The Garden this morning.It brought me to tears. My favorite line is “Your word won’t return empty”. How powerful!

I will Song by Kari Jobe

I need to see You here
I need to know You’re in control
Though my heart is torn wide open

I will trust, I will remember

I need to hear Your voice
Speaking to silence all my doubts
Your word won’t return empty
You will break through every darkness

Even when my breath is weak
I will sing, I will sing
Even in my suffering
I will sing, I will sing

I need to feel Your hope
Rising above my greatest fears
Even death has been defeated
I will trust, I will remember

Even when the shadows fall
I will sing, I will sing
Even when the night is long
I will sing, I will sing

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won’t be shaken
Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won’t be shaken

I need to see You here
I need to know You’re in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

 

God is greater than my fear and pain. He CANNOT be shaken. I will continue praying and trusting in God. He alone can calm my fears and give me peace.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Instead of doubting God, run to him and keep praying and believing.

Love in Christ,

Iva Mae