Everything I Need

I love music. I am ministered to the most through music. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good sermon and I need them. Music just speaks to me. I’m that person you see driving down the road praising God all by myself in my car. I love to worship. I love the atmosphere and how it changes when I worship with my whole heart. I decided this week to have purposeful worship. Today in my car I was listening to Lauren Daigle’s Everything. I really listened to the words and it just did my soul good.

Even the sparrow has a place to lay its head so why would I let worries steal my breath? Even the roses, you have glowed them in brilliant red. Still I’m the one You love more than this.

You give me everything I need.

Even the oceans push and pull at Your command. So you can still my heart with Your hand. You tell the seasons when it’s time for them to turn. So I will trust You even when it hurts.

You give me everything I need.

When I can’t see, You lead me. When I can’t hear, You show me. When I can’t stand, You carry me. When I’m lost, You will find me. When I’m weak, You are mighty. You are everything I need.

Those words are so powerful. As I sang them, I believed them. Why should I worry when even the sparrows have a place to lay their head? I just felt the Lord speaking to me. I’ve got this. I’ve already taken care of all the things you are worrying about. Let it go and be free.

Is there anything that you are holding onto today that you need to just give to the Lord? I invite you to have a purposeful time of worship and prayer and just give your burdens to the Lord.

If you want to listen to my Worship playlist, you can find it here. Worship.

Love from above,

Iva Mae

Worshipping Through Grief

photo from boundless.org

Hello,

It has been way too long since I have posted. I am going to do better. Life always seems to get in the way. I am going to share something that is painful. I didn’t want to share it, but I have felt so compelled to share it. I wrote a draft post and refused to look at it again or finish it until now.

A lot has happened since I last posted in February. In August I had surgery to remove endometriosis. I have had pain and problems for years. One of those was infertility. We have been trying to have a baby since 2014. I had a miscarriage in 2015. We were unable to get pregnant after that. We were hopeful that this surgery would allow us to have a baby. It seems the surgery was successful, I’ve not had pain. In October, I found out I was pregnant.

We were so excited! Finally! My husband and I talked about names, we talked about how we were going to move things around to make a nursery, and we talked about how we hoped we would be good parents.

I never thought that another miscarriage was possible. I truly felt this time that we would get to hold our sweet baby! It was due in June of 2019. We even told our family over a special dinner.

I had to have blood tests right away since I have had a miscarriage before. I started to worry. The tests came back with levels too low. Then I had complications and that ended with me having a miscarriage. Even as I type this, the word makes me cringe. My greatest fear came true.

When I first found out that this pregnancy was not going well, I was devastated. Then I was angry and hurt. I remember driving home from work so mad at God, I cried red hot tears. I didn’t understand how He could let this happen. The one thing we have prayed for, for years, finally happened and now it was being ripped away.

After crying out in anger, I felt guilty for getting angry. Then I felt sad. This pregnancy was different than the first one. We had an early ultrasound. I got to see it. My husband and I felt so happy after the ultrasound. Less than a week later the baby was gone.

I was so sure that this time it would be okay. Finding out that the baby was gone, felt like being crushed by boulders. When my Mom dropped us off back home from the hospital, I completely broke. I was and still am heartbroken. I still don’t understand or know why. I just have to trust that this was for the best.

My Dad came and picked me up the next morning and took me to get some coffee and so I could get my car from my parents’ house. He mentioned David and what he did after the death of his child. Once I got home, I read 2 Samuel 12. David’s child with Bathsheba fell ill and died. When he heard that the child died, he got up, washed and anointed himself and went to the house of the Lord and worshiped. His servants were confused with David’s actions. They didn’t understand why when the child was sick David didn’t eat and mourned but when it died, he got up from his grieving bed. I love how David answered them.

2 Samuel 12:22-23 “And he said, while the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

David did not stay in his grief. He knew that he would see his child again one day. He worshiped God. I have discovered that worship brings comfort. I took time to grieve. The day after I lost the baby, I went to church and was anointed. I wanted to be like David. I asked God at the beginning of this that He would get the glory.

Worship has been the key for me. Knowing God is good even when He doesn’t answer prayers the way we want has been a comfort as well. God is good, even though the things He allows bring me pain. Though he slay me, yet I will trust him. Job 13:15 I don’t understand why, but I chose to trust the Lord. I hope that I can help someone else.

I lost the baby October 27. It has been over a month now. I have my good days and bad days. Thanksgiving was hard and this month has been a little hard as well. We would have gotten to hear a heartbeat this month. Instead of hearing our sweet baby’s heartbeat, I have a broken heart. It is hard to not blame myself. There is a guilt that comes with a miscarriage. You think that there is something wrong with you. You think that if you would done this or not done that it wouldn’t have happened. Sweet friend, these are lies from the enemy to oppress you and destroy you. He wants nothing more than to use your grief as chains to keep you down. Satan wants to make you feel like this is your fault. This is not your fault. That is a lie straight from the pits of hell. These things happen because they just do. It isn’t comforting, but it is the truth. These things happen and we don’t understand why we may not until we get to Heaven.

Friend, if you are going through this or have gone through this, know this is NOT your fault. You are loved. You are not alone. When Satan tries to destroy you with lies about who you are, remember whose blood covers you and all sins. There is nothing that you can go through that will make God love you less. He loved you enough to give his only begotten son that we can have eternal life. Jesus overcame the world and He will help you overcome grief. Not every day will be perfect. You will have moments, sometimes out of nowhere that will bring you to your knees. Keep strong, keep holding on and keep trusting God.

Worship the Lord. Do not think that because you are broken you cannot worship. That is a lie from the enemy. Worship brings healing! I listed some of the songs that I have been worshiping to well sometimes ugly crying and worshiping.

Worship Playlist:

Trust in you- Lauren Daigle

Thy Will – Hillary Scott & Thr Scott Family

What a Beautiful Name – (Hillsong) Kari Jobe

You Say – Lauren Daigle

I Am Not Alone – Kari Jobe

Who You Say I am – Hillsong Worship

The Hurt & The Healer – Mercy Me

So Will I – (Hillsong Worship) Tori Kelly

Reckless Love – performed by Steffany Gretzinger

Journey to Israel – How did I get there?

I don’t even know where to start to talk about Israel. Finding the right words to describe my experience is difficult. I will do my best to tell you how I got to Israel.

I am forever changed by my experience there and for what happened in my life leading up to the trip.

I have been dealing with going on mission trips for some time now. Our church has missionaries who have been called to Haiti and go on mission trips there often. I wanted to go to Haiti but I knew my husband would never be okay with that. He told me that he never wanted me to go there because it can be unsafe. I had a burning for going on a trip but I tried ignoring it. I remember being in church in October of 2016 and God spoke to me and I could ignore it no longer. I said God give me confirmation that you want me to be a missionary. I don’t need a sign I want confirmation. (Judges  6:37 “Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said.”)

Doing your calling and going on mission trips were mentioned many times in the serivce. I said okay God. I’ll go to the next place someone talks about going to. My Pastor had Brother Mark Bradley talk about Israel and if you wanted to be a part of the team to see him. I said okay God I’ll go to Israel. I went to the alter and told God I’ll go wherever you call me and on the way back told Mark I needed to talk to him about Israel.

The next day I emailed the gentlemen in charge of the trip and said I wanted to go. I was told that the trip would cost around $3500. I told my boss at a job I’d been at for 1 month. I knew there may be some unpaid days but I said I have to go. My boss is a Christian man and he understood and supported it.

I never worried about the money. I knew if God wanted me to go, he would provide the funds. People found out and started giving me checks and sending money to my mission fund. I sent a letter out about a month out from going…it just never seemed to work put for me to send the letters any earlier. I needed about $1500 more when I sent the letters out. Within a week of sending the letters out, I was fully funded and then some.

I knew that this was real and I was going.

Satan knew I was going too. He used close family members to try and get me to not go. My husband was very against me going because he was worried about me. He felt that it was dangerous to go to Israel. He was afraid. I felt like I had no support at home. Several times I almost emailed the team leader and said I wasn’t going to go. I knew that God wanted me to go and that I needed to go because that is what I was called to do. (I listened to Lauren Daigle’s Trust in You a lot! I also relied on Proverbs 3:5)

I looked up songs about being called as a missionary. I found Kari Jobe’s The Cause of Christ and it was a song I listened to every day. I was worried that I might die on my trip. You hear so many lies about Israel in the media and was listening to what my husband was saying. I was willing to die for the cause of Christ if need be. I was going no matter what. I also listened to Oceans by Hillsong. Those 2 songs were MY songs for my trip.

Monday May 29, 2017

The Monday before I left on Wednesday, my Daddy got a call that my Papaw was asleep and wasn’t waking up. We were all eating and celebrating Memorial Day and celebrating before I left on my trip when he got the call. I talked to him privately and he said that Papaw wasn’t doing well and that he was dying. I cried and said I didn’t want him to die when I was gone. Daddy told me that Papaw would want me to go. I had to go no matter what. I said okay.

Tuesday May 30, 2017

I went to the nursing home on Tuesday at lunch and held my Papaw’s beautiful hands and told him I loved him. I thanked him for the Christian raising he gave my Father. I thanked him for praying for me. I told him that I was going on a mission trip and I was leaving the next day. I told him goodbye for now, but one day I’ll see you in Heaven! I kissed him and left.

Tuesday evening I began to get nervous as I packed my suitcase for my trip. Satan started in on me. I began to be afraid that the group wouldn’t like me and that I would be feel left out because they were a family and I was an “outsider”. I was worried I’d be miserable for 2 weeks. I was worried about being alone. I realized what was going on and I said not today Satan! I quickly told him to leave with those lies in the name of Jesus.

Wednesday May 31, 2017

I got up Wednesday morning and got ready to go. I went to breakfast with my husband at our favorite place, Waffle House! My nerves were on full alert! I was shaking from being nervous and being excited. My Uncle Norm sent me a text and told me to be a world changer! It gave me such strength.

My husband and I went to my parents. He and my parents were taking me to the airport. We were all in the kitchen with my Aunt Donna and Uncle Keith from Kentucky and my cousin Jeni and her little girl Rylee. My Dad got a text. My Papaw passed away about 10-15 mins before I had to leave to go to the airport.

I didn’t cry. I was shocked that he went so quickly and knew I had to be strong and go.

My parents and my husband went into the airport with me. They went with me as far as they could and watched me go through security and then waved goodbye. As soon as they couldn’t see me I cried. I was so emotional. I was sad, scared and overjoyed all at once. I composed myself and took my bookbag and carry on and walked to the terminal.

I found my terminal and took a seat. I watched a family say goodbye to a youngman going into the service. His parents, sister and grandparents were all there saying goodbye to him. I watched as they said goodbye and hugged and cried. After he go on the plane the entire family went to the window and watched the plane leave. They went to the other window and watched it take off. It reminded me how important family is and I knew that no matter how alone and scared I felt at that moment that I couldn’t let fear dictate my life. My favorite childhood verse, the first verse I ever memorized, came flooding back to me. Pslams 56:3 “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.”

I prayed and thanked God for the calling, the opportunity and for giving me strength. I thanked him for my Papaw and my family who was praying for me.

I was flying to Chicago by myself. They called for my flight to board and I boarded the plane. I found my seat and found myself smiling from ear to ear. I was actually doing this. I was finally not allowing fear to keep me from doing what God wanted me to do. I plugged in my earbuds as the plane took off and the song Brave by Bethel came on and I suddenly felt very brave. I knew that all the heartache and trials it took to get me to that point was worth it. Satan knew that this trip would change me and take me closer to God. He did everything in his power to try to stop me. I refused to let him.

I got to Chicago and panicked because I had no idea where the connecting flight’s terminal was. I had to compose myself in the bathroom and then I called the team leader Bill. I was actually pretty much right next to the terminal… Go figure!

I met everyone and they were so nice and welcoming! I knew it was going to be an amazing trip and that God had brought us all together for a reason. I still think of the team often and pray for them. I have such an admiration and love for the team.

We boarded the plane and took off to Toronto, Canada. We landed and didn’t have long before we boarded the flight for Tel Aviv, Israel. I grabbed a bite to eat and then it was time to go! I watched so many movies on the way to Israel and was able to get a few hours of sleep in before we landed. The plane food was really good to btw. AirCanada’s food is yummy!

Thursday June 1, 2017

We landed in Israel at around 10am. They are 7 hours ahead of Ohio. I was so excited! We went through security and had to get our passports checked since we were foreigners. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally made it through. We met Moshe and found our rental vehicle and took off to his home.

If I could tell you anything about this trip, it would be this – Obedience is better than sacrifice. Do what God has called you to do no matter who goes against you. Do what God calls you to do no matter how scared you are. Do what God calls you to do because when you actually do it… you will never find a greater joy, happiness or feel closer to God.

I will post more about the actual mission trip in Israel tomorrow. I wanted to give you the back story so you can understand where I was spiritually and mentally.

I had the most amazing experience. I want to go back. I fell in love with Israel and the people there. I loved the missionary family we stayed with and their congregation. I met some people who have left an imprint on my heart. I know this is just the beginning for me.

Love in Christ,

Iva Mae

 

Speak Life

I’ve been trying to search and study in the bible about speaking, lips and the tongue. God has been dealing with me on what I speak. Am I speaking value, hope love and life or am I speaking fear, death, slander and rubbish?

I’ve heard people say you need to speak things over you life and over your husband and children’s lives. I used to think that it was weird and dumb. What is speaking something over my life going to do? I honestly laughed when I heard people say that. I thought okay this must be something “those new churches” are teaching. I didn’t see the importance of it.

I literally had an epiphany the other night. It was like the curtain had been drawn back and I could finally see clearly. I was reading the verses again and I heard the old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. I thought, yah but words can hurt me… Then BOOM. It hit me. I. finally. got. it.

I had been reading these verses about idle words and how the tongue is a weapon. I never thought about how the tongue could speak life. How it could speak hope? How it could speak love? I am going to share the verses that were most compelling to me on the power of our words.

Proverbs 10 talks about the wisdom of the righteous and what they speak.

Verse 11 is what started this spark. “The mouth of the righteous man is a well of life…”

Verse 13, “In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.”

Verse 20-21 “The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.”

Verse 32 “The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness (rebellion, contrariness, defiance or willfulness).

Proverbs 16:23-24 “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”

Proverbs 18:4 “The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.”

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat thereof.”

Isiah 50:4 “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.”

Instead of speaking ill towards each other, let’s speak good will and hope towards one another. Let’s lift each other up. Let’s speak hope and goodness over our lives.

What verses do you think of when you think of this subject?

Listen to Toby Mac’s song! It’s great and catchy! Speak Life

Still I Will Sing

Sometimes we go through trials and the pain of those trials remain. I feel like the trial I am going through is never ending. It’s hard to explain the roller coaster emotions that I’ve gone through. Some days I am okay with not having a baby. Other days… I am not okay with it at all. I feel this emptiness and longing for something that seems like it will never come. Will I ever make my husband a father? Will I ever become a mother?

I don’t understand how most of my friends and family member have babies and I do not. Keeping the hurt of that inside is exhausting. Some days I wear my pain on my face and everyone can tell something is wrong with me. I’ve realized that talking about my pain helps.

What doesn’t work is giving up, keeping it in and doubting God. Last week at church was our youth service. Our Youth Pastor preached about Thomas – the doubter. He gave a whole new outlook on Thomas. Thomas wanted to know for himself what was the truth. He didn’t want to go off the word of others. I realized that I was actually doubting God’s ability to do something, not seeking out His will.

I have a love/hate relationship with God’s correction. I hate that feeling of conviction, but love that God speaks to me and convicts me of things.

I realized that I cannot give up on God. Just because something hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t. Whether we have a baby naturally or by adoption I believe that one day we will have a baby!

In the meantime I will sing! I heard Kari Jobe’s song I will Sing from her new album The Garden this morning.It brought me to tears. My favorite line is “Your word won’t return empty”. How powerful!

I will Song by Kari Jobe

I need to see You here
I need to know You’re in control
Though my heart is torn wide open

I will trust, I will remember

I need to hear Your voice
Speaking to silence all my doubts
Your word won’t return empty
You will break through every darkness

Even when my breath is weak
I will sing, I will sing
Even in my suffering
I will sing, I will sing

I need to feel Your hope
Rising above my greatest fears
Even death has been defeated
I will trust, I will remember

Even when the shadows fall
I will sing, I will sing
Even when the night is long
I will sing, I will sing

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won’t be shaken
Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won’t be shaken

I need to see You here
I need to know You’re in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

 

God is greater than my fear and pain. He CANNOT be shaken. I will continue praying and trusting in God. He alone can calm my fears and give me peace.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Instead of doubting God, run to him and keep praying and believing.

Love in Christ,

Iva Mae

The Roaring Lion

Image via Z3news

Recently I answered the calling to go on a mission trip. I’ve been praying that God will use me and bless this trip. I am also praying that God will make the way for me to go if it is His will.

I am big on prayer. I believe there is so much power in prayer. I also believe that when you decide to answer God and do what He wants of you, you will see Satan fight to make you quit. Satan will attack you, your family, your finances, your health and whatever else he thinks he can reek havoc on. Satan has been attacking me and my family.

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

The bible says it plainly. “…your adversary (enemy) the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour”.

Satan wants to destroy you. He doesn’t want you to do God’s will or answer God’s calling. If you do, you will impact others’ lives. You will spread the gospel and cause others to have a seed planted. If that seed grows and leads to salvation, another soul will be going to Heaven instead of hell with him.

John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly

The thief is Satan. The bible tells us he is here to steal, to kill and to destroy.

He will try to steal your joy, kill your ministry and ultimately destroy you and your relationships.

Recently I have witnessed first hand what Satan will try to do to try to take your focus off of Christ so you will be distracted and start to sink.

He can use others to try to ruin you and your family. We recently had a situation where a family member tried to cause problems for my husband. This person wanted my husband to lose control of his anger. They wanted to see him fail.

I’ve heard the saying whenever you try to do good, evil is always present. It says it in the bible as well.

Romans 7:21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me

This is for me as much if not more than it is for anyone else. I love when God speaks to us and puts verses on our minds to help us through.

We serve a mighty and a wonderful God.

Next time you feel like world is caving in or you are in a situation that tries and tempts you, remember that Satan wants to destroy you. Think of the above verses and let them remind you that Jesus will get you through! Remember that when you do good that evil will be present.

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Love from above,

Iva Mae

 

Seasons

There are four seasons in a year. Depending on where you live it may seem like there are only 1 or 2. I live in Ohio and there are 4 distinct seasons, usually.

I find good in all of them but Winter is my least favorite. It is cold, you can’t do anything outside and it can be rough to drive in. To me it seems like Winter lasts forever. I’m so busy focusing on when Spring is coming that I don’t stop and take in the season I am in.

We do this often in our lives as well. We are so focused on getting out of our current life season that we can miss God in our current season. He is there with us even in the ugly. He is with us even if it seems like our season will never end. Right now I am in an ugly season. A season of pain, heartache and no understanding. I’ve been in this season for nearly a year. I don’t speak of it to anyone not even my husband. I just keep it to myself, because that is what I do. I so desperately want to move on to the next season of my life but it hasn’t happened yet.

I’ve spent so much time being upset about not being able to have a child, that I’ve missed so much. This is a time for just my husband and I. Once we have kids, there will never be a time like this again. We won’t be able to just pick up, hop in the car or on the motorcycle and go. There will be no more snuggles on the couch with just us and the dog. No more sleeping in together on Saturdays. It will be harder for us to focus on just us. It will be harder on our marriage.

I’ve been realizing this more and more here lately. The pain is still there, there’s an ache for something I very well may never have. This is a season in my life that may never pass or it may pass in a few years. I have missed God in this season too. I’ve been so focused on getting out of this, that I haven’t had my focus on God. I’ve missed God in so many things that He has done for me.

This season in my life is for a purpose! It will draw me closer to God and change me. I can use this season to help someone else. God has a plan for my life. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. It feels like God doesn’t understand or care about the pain we are going through.

Does Jesus even know what it feels like to have this pain or sorrow?

The answer is yes. John 11:35 “Jesus wept.” Jesus felt pain and sorrow over the death of his friend.

Does He know what is like? Does He care?

Yes! Hebrews 4:15-16 “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

We can come boldly before the throne so we can obtain MERCY and GRACE in the time of need. It says in verse 15 Jesus knows what it is like he was tempted, yet he sinned not!

Satan will do everything he can to destroy us to keep us from having a purposeful life in Christ. He doesn’t want us to succeed. He wants us to be distracted by what may seem like failures, faults, pains, sorrows, hurts, problems, trying to get out of our current season and feelings of hopelessness. He will whisper how that God doesn’t care about your stupid problems. He will whisper lies of how no one can help you and that God doesn’t know what you’re going through. He wants to isolate you, distract you. Tranquilize you if you will so he can reek havoc.

We can miss God in every season because we are so worried about getting to that next season and next point in our lives.

My church’s Vacation Bible School was on Joseph this year. Genesis 38-48

Joseph went through many negative seasons in his life. He was loved by his father and was given a special gift, a coat of many colors. His brothers wanted to destroy him. They took his coat, threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave. They made their father believe that he was dead. They covered his coat with animal blood.

I couldn’t help but think about how that Satan tries to destroy your gift and you. He will do anything to destroy you. He will make you feel isolated from THE Father. He will attack your passion, your hope, your family, your prayer life, your health and many other things to prevent you from doing what God has called you to do. What God has created you to do.

After Joseph was sold into slavery, his master’s wife accused him of rape. She tried to get him to sleep with her and he said no, so as punishment for not getting what she wanted, she accused him of rape. When he said no, he turned to run away and she grabbed his coat off of him. She used that as evidence that he was there. Poor Joseph couldn’t keep his coats on. Someone was always trying to take them off of him!

Joseph ended up in prison. He spent several years there. God used him even in this season of his life. Even in the ugly, God showed up! Joseph ended up being in prison who two of Pharaoh’s men. He interpreted a dream for them. The one promised Joseph he would remember him but he forgot about Joseph until the Pharaoh had a dream. The man remembered that Joseph could interpret dreams. They pulled Joseph out of prison and he interpreted the dream for Pharaoh. Pharaoh made Joseph second in command and put him in charge of the food storehouse.

Joseph went from being sold into slavery, put into prison for several years and finally made second in command to Pharaoh. This all allowed him to take care of his family during a horrible drought. Joseph didn’t focus on trying to get out of the season he was in to get to the next even though he was imprisoned. Satan tried to destroy Joseph. He used his family and his “owner’s” wife to try to put an end to what Joseph’s calling was.

No matter how long  the season you are in may seem. It may seem like it is never ending, know that it will be over and look for God while you wait for the next season. Know your season will serve a purpose. Use it to grow closer to God! Become a stronger Christian. Fight on your knees! Prayer is the best weapon we have.

Love from above,

Iva Mae

 

 

 

Living by Faith

Let me start off by saying that I fail God daily. Every. Single. Day. I. Fail. Him.

I don’t really know if this blog helps anyone else, but it helps me and it keeps me in check. I write a new post whenever God lays something on my heart. Usually it is on what I am dealing with or going through. God’s been working on me a lot here lately. I am thankful for that!

I have been lacking in my faith. I used to have so much faith but it seems here recently that my faith is lacking. I’ve been questioning myself as to why my faith is lacking. God hasn’t changed, so I know that isn’t it. He never changes. I started examining my life and trying to pinpoint exactly why, when and how it happened. What have I let get in the way? What has gotten in the way? The answer? Iva has gotten in the way. Iva has doubted God’s love. What does God’s love have to do with my faith? Everything. Faith doesn’t work without love. Galations 5:6 “For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.“

Faith works by love. At first I was confused by this. Utterly confused. I heard it explained like this. Imagine curtains. You have to have a rod to hang curtains. Try to hang curtains with the curtains on the hooks and not have a rod. The curtains will end up on the floor. Love is the rod that you hang your life on and faith are the hooks. When I heard this analogy, it was like a light bulb went ding ding ding! Bingo! Yatzee! Here it is Iva. Here is your answer. Deep down I have been doubting God’s love for me. I know. Stupid, right?

When I got up the morning that this all me I was in a horrible mood. Some possibly bad news had been given to my husband the day before. I was angry that God would give something then take it away especially something we needed. I drove to work angry. I was moody and grumpy at work and then out of no where the song Living by Faith came to my mind. Living by faith in Jesus above. Trusting confiding in His great love; from all harm safe in His sheltering arm, I’m living by faith and feel no alarm. I love when that happens. God always puts a song on my mind right when I need it. I looked up the hymn and read all the lyrics. I am a lyric nerd. I have trouble with lyrics. Just ask my husband. I sing songs around the house all the time and if I don’t know the lyrics I make them up. Kyle calls me out on it and I say I was just freestylin. Because of this, I like to look up what the lyrics actually are to songs that pop in my head. I also like to hear the song so I typed in Living by Faith on YouTube. I listened to the song and in the suggestions was a message by a preacher named Creflo Dollar. I listened to it and I was blessed. I highly recommended that you watch it. You can listen to it here: The Just shall live by faith

There are 4 verses in the bible that specifically say the just shall live by faith. If it says it 4 times you know it is important!

Habakkuk 2:4 “Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by faith.”

Romans 1:17 “For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.”

Galatians 3:11 “But no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, The just shall live by faith.”

Hebrews 10:38 “Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.”

So we know the just shall live by faith but what does that mean exactly? What is faith by definition? Merriam-Webster says it is: (1) allegiance to duty or a person: loyalty; belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2)belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion: firm belief in something for which there is no proof: complete trust (3) something that is believed especially with strong conviction; without question.

What is the biblical definition of faith? Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Faith is the substance (stuff or essence or base) of the things we hope for but have not actually seen. The bible tell us to walk by faith. (2 Corinthians 5:7) We are to live our lives by love and faith. We need love to have faith. Faith is the belief in God’s love for us. God loves me and I am confident that he will provide for me. He loves me and that is why I have faith in Him and His ability to take care of me. He loves me so much that he would send His only begotten son to die on a cross, bare the sin of the world so that we all could go to Heaven if we accept Christ in our hearts.

I listened to lies from Satan. He is good at his job. Satan will whisper lies. Things like, God isn’t going to take care of you, God will not do that, don’t count on God to make that happen, God doesn’t love you, God won’t forgive you, God can’t use you because you failed, God can’t use you because you’re different, God doesn’t care about you having a car, God doesn’t care about you having a house and so many other lies straight outta the pits of hell. We start to lose our confidence. We doubt ourselves and we doubt God’s love. Hebrews 10:35 “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.”

Satan will attack your confidence. He will remind you of past mistakes, shortcomings and failures to get your state of mind to make you feel like you are under God’s judgement instead of the blood.  It will make you think that God won’t help you because of something you did in the past. That is not true. If you are a born again Christian, you are under the blood! Yes we will fail and fall short. When you do you can go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness and he will lift you up.

When you pray, pray with the confidence that God will do what you have asked Him. I think faith and confidence go together. I sit in my chair because I am confident it will hold me. Because God loves me, he will provide for me. Phillipians 4:19 “But God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” The bible says it right there. He will provide my need according to HIS riches in glory. All that I have is His. Anything that I get it His. I just get to borrow it.

I love when God takes the veil off so that I can see the things I need to. I don’t know if anyone else ever feels or has felt the way that I had been but this helped me. God loves His children. He will take care of us. That doesn’t mean we won’t have trials or hard times. This means that God will provide for us when we need it.

God I ask that you would lift the veil off those who need it lifted off so that their eyes can see what you need them to see through your word. Help those today who may be struggling and those whose faith is being tested. Give them the strength they need to endure and let them feel your loving arms. I ask all these things in your name. Amen.

May all of you have a blessed Easter. He is risen!! Today is Friday… but Sunday is coming!!

Love from above, Iva Mae

P.S. I apologize if this post seemed scatter brained. It took me 3 days to finish this.

 

His Eye is On The Sparrow

His Eye is on the Sparrow by Civillia Martin

Why should I feel discouraged? And why should the shadows come? And why should my heart be lonely? And long for Heaven and home? When Jesus is my portion. My constant friend is he. His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.I sing because I’m happy. I sing because I’m free! His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.

Let not your heart be troubled. His tender word I hear. And resting on His goodness I lose my doubts and fears. Though by the path He leads us but one step I may see. His eye is on the sparrows and I know He watches me. And Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.I sing because I’m happy. I sing because I’m free! His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.

Whenever I am tempted. Whenever clouds arise. When songs give place to sighing. When hope within me dies, I draw closer to Him. From care He sets me free! His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me. I sing because I’m happy! I sing because I’m free! His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

I never paid attention to the lyrics of this song. It was one of those songs I never paid attention to at all. I don’t even know how I stumbled across this song and the story. I read the lyrics. REALLY read the lyrics. Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come? Why should my heart be lonely? When Jesus IS my portion and a constant friend is He.

Those words stuck out to me. Why have I been so discouraged when Jesus is my portion. No job, no person, no wealth, no fame and no material thing can make me happy. My joy comes from the Lord. I read the story of how Mrs. Martin wrote the song. She met a sweet old couple, the Doolittles. Both the Doolittles were in bad shape. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for almost 20 years. Mr. Doolittle was wheelchair bound, an incurable cripple. They were both happy Christians even though they had it bad off. Mrs. Martin’s husband commented on the couple’s hopefulness and asked what the secret was. Mr. Doolittle said, His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. The Martins were touched by the faith and the simpleness of Mr. Doolittle’s answer. His answer inspired the song that Mrs. Martin wrote that night.

I have been feeling so alone and so discouraged. Hearing this song reminded me that I need not be discouraged. I really like the 3rd verse of the song, Whenever I am tempted. Whenever clouds arise. When songs give place to sighing. When hope within me dies, I draw closer to Him. From care He sets me free! When songs give place to sighing really really stuck out to me. I shouldn’t only sing when I am happy. I should sing through the pain, the trials, the sadness, the joy, the happy times and ALL the times because God has given me that capability to sing praises to Him. My Daddy preached a message a couple of weeks ago about this very thing. He said we can’t lose our song.He preached about how he helped me tare up some carpet and how I was singing. He said that I didn’t my song even though I had gone through so much. Our song leader sang His Eye is on the Sparrow and I was so touched. I love when God speaks to me. He speaks to us in many different ways. He speaks to us through His people, like preachers, and He speaks to us through songs. Songs have always spoken to me. I love lyrics. I read them and I try to study them and think about their meanings.

Psalms 100:1 &2 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

I am always singing around the house and in my car. I challenge you to really read the lyrics of your favorite song and to think about the meaning. It will really bless you!

 

Love from above,

Iva Mae

God’s Will?

I recently read a verse in my bible that reached out of the page and slapped me. It cut me. It made me angry because I knew it was true.

The verse was 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

I read that and thought oh yah?!? Really?!?! I should be thankful for all the crap we have been going through recently?! This is stupid! I am not thankful for this pain, the burdens, the worrying or anything else! I was angry. I was not happy. I was full of rage. My husband was upset and feeling down and when he hurts I feel the pain. I hate to seem him upset. It kills me. I just wanted to hold him and take all the pain away and make it better but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t understand why God would allow us to have our “bottom” fall out. One thing after another kept happening. I got pregnant then lost the baby. Kyle left his job of 2 years for another job that was supposed to give great benefits and supposed to be great, and it wasn’t. My car decided that it no longer wanted to be alive and started falling apart and we didn’t have the money to fix it. My husband was struggling with not feeling like he was a provider and feeling upset about his job situation. The devil had launched a full blown attack on our home and I was angry at God for it. Even writing this makes me feel embarrassed that I was mad at the wrong person. It’s like DUH IVA!! Hello McFly!!

That is what Satan does. He uses smoke and mirrors to distract us. He is really good at his job. We have to be ready for him. We’re constantly in war. He will do whatever he can to destroy us from doing what we are called to do for God. He doesn’t want us to succeed. He wants to use our failures, past sins, downfalls and mistakes as ways to keep us from moving forward. He will bring up the past and make you feel like God can’t forgive you of your sins. John 10:10 “The thief (Satan) cometh not, but to steal, and to kill and to destroy…”

The bible clearly states that Satan has come to steal. He will steal things like your joy, your peace of mind, your happiness, your health, your finances and whatever else he can get his grimy nasty claws on. He will kill your ministry, your relationships, and try to take your life.He ultimately wants to destroy you.

The second part of John 10:10 says …I (Christ) have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Jesus died for us so that we could live. He was tortured and beaten for you and me. He performed miracles, including calming the raging sea.

I’ve seen little pictures and blurbs around the internet that say Jesus either calms the storm or he calms his child. I think that sometimes he does both.

I’ve always loved the stories in the bible where Jesus calmed the storms. They are some of my favorite ones. Matthew 8:23-27 talks about such an instance. Verse 24 says “And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.”

I love that last part, but he was asleep. The storms were raging, the boat was filling with water, fears were high, there was chaos all around and Jesus was asleep. The next verse talks about how the disciples awoke him and said Jesus save us!!! He immediately said (vs 26)”…Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.”

Sometimes it seems like God doesn’t see what we are going through. It feels like he doesn’t care and that he is a million miles away. That isn’t true. He does care and he will help you through these storms and give you the strength you need to get through. Sometimes he is quiet. I’ve always heard that a teacher is quiet during a test.

When I was about 5 years old, I was outside swinging on my swing set like most 5 year old girls like to do. I probably had a stuffed animal and had been picking dandelions. A drunk man came from the back of our property and came up close to the house where I was swinging. He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me and my danger alarms started going off. I started screaming to the top of my lungs for my Daddy. My mom came out and the guy kept walking and walked down the road. My Dad wasn’t there, he was at church that evening. Even though my Daddy wasn’t there, I wanted him because I knew he would keep me safe. He went through the park minutes later when he got back home and kicked ever beer can he could find looking for that man.

When I was about 6 we went Easter egg hunting in the park. My Daddy took me and they lined all of the kids up on the spray painted line. They blew the whistle signaling the start of the hunt. All the kids took off. I did too because I was so excited to get some candy and stickers. That didn’t happen though. Most of the kids started pushing and shoving other kids. Every egg I reached for someone took. Someone even took an egg right out of my hand. My Daddy came over to me and grabbed my hand and walked me back to the truck and we went home. He had enough of that and he could see me getting upset.

God is that way too. He sees what we’ve gone through. Just because he doesn’t come when you first call for him to save you doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hear you or that he doesn’t care. Daddys are good for holding our hands and holding us making us feel safe. Even to this day I still feel that love and that his arms are a safe place to be when he hold me.

God answered mine and Kyle’s prayers and our bottom isn’t falling out anymore. All the hardships and all the tears shed and the worry and fear and anger is mostly gone. We always worry a little too much about some things, but for the most part God has given us that peace that passeth all understanding. There isn’t understanding sometimes.

My husband Kyle got an opportunity to work for a Christian man. This man and his wife are wonderful people. He gets to work with two other guys who are also Christians. They pray before going to work and get devotions to read. God laid this job in our laps. I love divine plans. His timing is truly perfect. I also got a new car thanks to my parents. They are amazing and bless me. God has blessed us so much! The other prayer that we have been praying about, a baby, hasn’t happened yet but if it is God’s will it will. It will be perfect as well.

May God bless you all!

Iva Mae